A mother whose partner gives her £600 a month for ‘fun stuff’ like ‘lunch’ and ‘soft play’ has declared him ‘stingy’ – saying she needs more.
The anonymous British parent took toMumsnet, where she revealed she’s on a 12-month career break, and so needs funds from her boyfriend to cover overheads for her and their young son.
Despite her partner – who earns a salary in excess of £100,000 – covering ‘mortgages and bills at the moment’, she said she was ‘irritated’ that he gave her £150 a week, an amount she deemed ‘stingy’.
She added that she sometimes has to pay for her own coffees and lunches at weekends and lamented that costs like car parking and £4.50 hot drinks ‘added up’.
When she asked the forum if she was ‘right’ in her opinion, many told her that the money was ‘plenty’.
‘Am I out of touch or is he being stingy?’ she titled her Mumsnet post.
‘[I] recently agreed between us [my partner and I] that I would take a career break. I’m happy with this, I actually have a job to go to so it’s a short break… more like 12 months’ she continued.
The woman then explained that her and her boyfriend jointly decided to pull their son out of nursery so she would be his full time caregiver during the career break.
A mother whose partner gives her £600 a month for ‘fun stuff’ like ‘lunch’ and ‘soft play’ has declared him ‘stingy’ and says she needs more (stock image)
‘Dear partner transfers around £150 a week for activities for me and dear son like soft play, lunch out etc. Any toys we might get while in the supermarket and so on’ she added.
‘He covers mortgage and bills at the moment and at weekends I might get a coffee or a lunch but as I’m not earning this comes from my savings’.
She admitted it was her idea to take a year off from employment and that she initially agreed to the financial agreement, but didn’t anticipate the current state of things.
She suggested that what she liked most about the agreement was that their son would be able to spend less time at nursery and more time at home with his parents.
‘I feel like £150 is a bit stingy and he doesn’t understand that a coffee, for example, is £4.50 at lots of places’ she lamented.
‘Car parking, soft play, it all adds up!’ she continued. ‘I want to suggest he sends over another £50 but I know he will make a comment like get a flask for coffee etc which just makes me feel irritated.
‘It’s hard work being with a toddler all day! For context he’s a high earner, a little over 100k’.
She concluded the post by asking if she was ‘in the right’ – but according to many who commented she was far from it.
The British mother vented on Mumsnet , where she revealed that she was on a 12 month career break and so needed funds from her boyfriend to cover overheads for her and their young son
In response to the post, one stay at home mother revealed that her own ‘fun money’ was £200 a month.
She wrote: ‘I’m a stay at home mum in a very expensive part of the UK with three small children and our fun money is £200 a month. And my husband earns similar.
‘The amount you are quoting would be for a food shop and petrol and kids clothes and presents and parties in our household’.
Someone else called the woman’s situation a ‘good deal’: ‘Indeed, some people have less than that for food shopping. You are getting a good deal’.
‘Soft play isn’t a daily thing’ commented another person.’There are many things you can do for free at that age. I’d be deeply unimpressed if my partner decided to stop work and then spent the week frittering the household income on coffee and lunch’.
‘So £600 per month for fun? Sounds pretty good to me’ agreed another.
Other people made a mockery of her post, while some questioned if her request for more than £150 a week could even be real.
‘Exactly how many coffees are you drinking?’ joked one person.
She asked the forum if she was ‘right’ in her observations, to which many told her that the money was ‘plenty’
‘This can’t be real?’ asked someone else.
Meanwhile one person told the mother-of-one to ‘get a grip on reality’, writing: ‘You’ve chosen to take the career break, and you should be budgeting for your own expenses during this time.
‘Your husband/partner isn’t responsible for buying you £4.50 coffees because you feel like you want one. He’s already covering all the running costs of the home, you are being extremely unreasonable. Probably time you went back to work and got a grip on reality’.
Elsewhere, one woman thought it ‘reasonable’ to request more funds, adding that as the couple were no longer paying nursery fees, the equivalent saved should go to the poster.
She wrote: ‘Given the amount he earns, I think it would be reasonable for him to give you the equivalent of what he would otherwise spend on childcare. This would be a lot more than £150!
‘I am surprised everyone thinks £150 is massively generous, from a guy earning that salary, which he is only able to do because his wife is providing all child care. (I dare say you pick up the majority of the house work currently, also?)’
