A mum-of-two has detailed her heartbreak after one of her close friends ghosted her while she was going through the worst time of her life.
Emily Skye, a fitness trainer from Queensland, said her mum was given just weeks to live after being diagnosed with leukaemia, unless she began intense chemotherapy, which she’s done.
‘It’s been the most awful thing to watch someone go through,’ Emily said.
But the experience has made her realise who her true friends really are.
‘People who actually genuinely care about me and the people who don’t, they fully retract and they avoid you,’ she said.
Emily described how one of her friends reached out after noticing she had been quiet. When Emily opened up and shared the devastating news about her mum, her friend stopped responding.
‘I heard from a friend of mine. She said, “You’ve been really quiet lately, is everything OK?” I really appreciate her noticing and reaching out. So I replied and I told her about my mum’s situation,’ Emily said.
‘Now, I’m very cautious of how much I dump on someone. I never want to do too much that it overloads and that I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m very respectful and aware of other people.
‘I asked her how she is. And then I didn’t hear anything back.’
A mum-of-two has detailed her heartbreak after one of her friends started ghosting her while she was going through the worst time of her life
Emily said she could see her message has been ‘read’ but she decided to give her friend the ‘benefit of the doubt’.
‘Weeks went by, if not months…Then I bumped into her at the shopping centre,’ she explained.
‘I went to say, “Hey” and she ducked and pretended she didn’t see me, and just walked off. I know she saw me.
‘I felt heartbroken.’
Emily was convinced her friend might have been avoiding her because she didn’t know how to handle her mum’s situation.
‘I thought, OK well, maybe it’s too much for her. Again, benefit of the doubt,’ she said.
However, she knew something wasn’t right when she ran into her friend again.
‘I walked straight up to her because I thought, let’s put it all aside and just be kind. Who knows what’s going on in her life?’ Emily said.
‘I gave her a hug and said, “How are you?”You could tell she was really uncomfortable. But I just acted normal. I didn’t want her to feel bad or anything.
‘She said, “I was meant to reply to you, but it’s been a really bad year.” I was like, “what’s been going on?”‘
Emily recalled how one of her friends reached out after noticing she had been quiet. When she opened up and shared the devastating news about her mum, that friend stopped responding
Her friend went on to explain that her husband was having a hard time at work because one of his colleagues ‘wasn’t being nice to him’.
‘I said, “Oh no, that’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that. Is everything OK now?” she said, “Yeah, it’s all sorted now”,’ Emily recalled.
‘Then I saw someone else and she just walked away. I felt like she just saw an opportunity to get out of there and escaped.
‘I can’t help but feel hurt and abandoned.’
Emily said she’s always made an effort to show up for everyone so she feels hurt by her friend distancing herself.
‘I just feel like, what’s wrong with me?’ she said.
‘Am I just too sensitive… or was I actually hurt by someone who ignored me when I really needed support? I guess I just want to feel cared for. Maybe I expect too much.’
She wondered whether she should ask her friend directly why she’s been acting this way – or simply move on with her life.
‘Do I just let it go and just not have any hard feelings?’ Emily said.
Emily said she’s always made an effort to show up for everyone so she feels hurt by her friend distancing herself
Her video has been viewed more than 8,500 times – with many sharing their own experiences of losing friends in similar situations.
‘People just don’t know how to handle others going through grief, some are naturally able to handle your news and others just freeze. I learnt this when I got cancer at 23, but I got rid of those who hid and ignored me because it upset me and took energy away from me that I didn’t have to lose anyway,’ one shared.
‘When my mum died it was sudden and shocking and I didn’t cope at all. Long story short, almost everyone disappeared. Never to be seen or heard from again. It’’ their loss. I’m the loving, supportive friend who would have been there in their hard times. Now they don’t have that,’ another revealed.
Some suggested Emily should talk to her friend about the situation.
‘Honestly call her on it… Also she’s not a true friend. My true friends are all there for me regardless of how much I dump on them and I’m the same with them. I’m sorry you’re going through all that with your mum… Sending love,’ one said.
While others said Emily should simply walk away from the friendship.
‘I completely don’t understand this! How hard is it to be caring and supportive of a friend? I’m like you,’ one shared.
‘I’m so supportive of my friends and it hurts when it’s not reciprocated. I would let this friendship go. She has let you down. Trying to talk to her will hurt more. Walk away and invest in the friendships that give as much as they get.’
Another added: ‘People pleaser here. People that you thought would be there for you are not and it hurts – I’ve learnt this getting older. I’ve wasted so much time and effort trying but it’s not worth it. Put your time and effort in people that do it for you.’
‘When people show you who they are – believe them. It hurts, but I have found cutting the cord to those relationships is best. I’d rather wait for the right people in my life,’ one explained.
