I tugged at my wedding ring, but it wouldn’t budge. I’d put on so much weight that the gold band dug into my skin, leaving bulges on either side.
Panting, I wrestled with it until it finally slid free, leaving an ugly dent in my swollen finger. In that moment, I knew I had to change. The ring in my hand had become a visual representation of everything I had done to myself.
That was in August 2020. I was just two months away from my 50th birthday and I weighed almost 14st (13st 10lb to be precise). I felt angry at myself and frustrated with my habits – the lack of exercise, the processed foods. The nightly wine.
Doctors had warned me: one said I was borderline diabetic, another said my arthritic knees would only get worse if I didn’t lose weight – but it wasn’t until that wedding ring got dangerously tight that it hit me.
Within a week, I had started my transformation.
I hadn’t always been big. When I married Glenn at 42, I weighed 10st 8lb which was fine at my 5ft 11in height. My weight was relatively constant for a few years, but when I hit 45, perimenopause arrived. Over four years, I piled on 35lb, or 2.5st.
Then the pandemic struck, and everything unravelled.
Like many couples, Glenn and I found comfort in food and drink. He perfected pizza dough while I poured the wine – two glasses, every night. I had always been just a light weekend drinker, but suddenly wine became my crutch, my coping mechanism.
Denise Kirtley realised that, having found comfort in food and drink with her husband Glenn during the pandemic, wine had become her crutch
Denise remembers her wedding ring digging into her finger as a key moment in encouraging her to take control of her health
Looking back, I realise this is common for women in midlife and that we just can’t process alcohol like we used to.
The wine made me scurry to the kitchen for chocolate and crisps, and between January and August 2020, I gained another stone. I was the heaviest I’d ever been. At a size 18, I was bursting out of my clothes. To be honest, I probably needed a size bigger, but I refused to buy it.
I was exhausted, depressed, and in pain. So, I pledged to do something – and overnight I made three big changes.
I cut out wine. I overhauled my diet. And I picked up weights for the first time, turning our spare bedroom into a makeshift gym with a dusty set of adjustable dumbbells and an old barbell Glenn dug out from the garage.
Exercise did not produce the lightbulb moment, however. That came when I began to track macros – or the proportion of fat, protein, and carbs in my diet – and realised that two glasses of wine had the same amount of carbs as a bagel.
Giving up alcohol made a massive difference almost immediately. Sleep improved because wine disrupts sleep, especially as we age. This boosted my energy and motivation for workouts, and reinforced better food choices.
Now, I might have a drink four times a year, on occasions like my birthday or New Year’s Eve. (And even then, I can wake in the middle of the night with my heart racing, a stark reminder of what wine does to me.)
Evenings used to be my binge time. Now, I save some of my carb allowance for a treat I genuinely enjoy: a yoghurt bowl with berries and a touch of whipped cream, or a square or two of dark chocolate. I even have a little ritual: standing in the kitchen and saying out loud: ‘The kitchen is closed.’ It sounds ridiculous, but it works.
At her heaviest, Denise was a size 18
By her birthday, Denise was a size 12 and nine months later weighed 10st
‘I even have a little ritual,’ writes Denise, ‘standing in the kitchen and saying out loud, “The kitchen is closed”
Denise went viral after posting her before and after pictures on social media
By my 50th birthday in October 2020, I had lost 20lbs and I slipped into a Carrie Bradshaw-style tulle skirt in a size 12. I felt like I was starting to be me again. Nine months later, I’d lost 50lbs, or almost four stone. I weighed just over ten stone, and my wedding ring slid easily on to my finger.
Now I joined a gym and with a coach began lifting weights seriously. I took daily photos to track progress, and my coach suggested I share them on social media. My account was small at first, but in November 2022, I competed in my first bodybuilding contest and posted a picture of competition-ready me alongside old, much bigger me.
The whole thing went viral. Thousands of midlife women messaged: ‘I look like you did. Can you help me?’
I hadn’t planned to coach, but reading those messages, often through tears, made me realise this was my purpose.
By summer 2023, I left my 22-year recruitment career to launch Rebellion Body, a coaching business for midlife women. I chose the word ‘Rebellion’ because together we are rebelling against the narrative around decline.
Midlife isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. We can create the lives we want. My goal is to make strong, fit midlife women the norm, not the exception.
I didn’t use weight-loss jabs, by the way. When I started, they weren’t really a thing, and I was raised by a single mother who didn’t even like to take an aspirin.
Weight-loss medications are fine if you choose them, but two things matter: sustainable nutrition and strength training. Health comes first. Muscles aren’t just about looks; they’re about strength, longevity, and metabolism.
I used to believe weight loss meant starvation and endless cardio. But I eat over 2,000 calories a day over four or five small meals. For years, I was pescatarian, but in 2023 I suddenly started thinking about hamburgers every day. I’d been having gut issues including bloating, and the minute I started eating meat – I felt better.
Everyone’s needs are different, but I eat at least 250g of carbs a day. That’s around 1,000 calories just from carbs, because I love them. Then I have 65–70g of fat and 150g of protein.
Breakfasts range from sourdough toast to overnight oats. Lunches are vegetable-heavy with lean protein.
Dinner is simple: air-fried salmon or chicken with vegetables and rice, sweet potatoes or even air fried chips.
None of my meals take longer than ten minutes to make.
People think I’m in the gym all the time, but the truth is I only train four days a week: two upper, two lower body sessions, for about an hour a time.
But you don’t need to do what I did, and overhaul everything at once. Start small: walk, lift weights, cut back on alcohol. Stay consistent. Your body will respond but the real transformation is mental. Being strong opens up a world of possibility for the second half of life.
I’ve just turned 55 and am fitter and healthier than ever. If I can do it, you can too.
As told to Leah Hardy.
- Find Denise on Instagram at @fiftyfitnessjourney.
