An American living in the UK was left shocked after discovering that the ‘the wait staff culture’ was very different overseas.
Russell Valentin, 31, originally from Chicago, Illinois, recently took to TikTok to share the ‘hard lesson’ he had learned about Americans’ restaurant etiquette after going out for dinner in England with his girlfriend.
In the video, which got more than one million views, he explained that while he always thought of himself as someone with manners, he soon realized that Europeans might look at him differently.
‘Hard lesson I learned as an American living in the UK is I really didn’t have manners. I thought I did,’ began Valentin.
He went on to explain that he and his British girlfriend were dining at an Italian restaurant recently, and everything seemed normal – until the waitress started giving him weird looks.
‘The waitress asked, “Can I get you anything to drink?” to which I replied, “We’ll have some water,”‘ he recalled.
‘She looked down at her pad and said, “Sure.” My girlfriend kind of gave me a look but I didn’t think much of it.
‘The waitress returned with our waters and asked, “Are you ready to order?” to which I said, “I’ll have the Napoli pizza.”
An American living in the UK was left shocked after discovering that the ‘the wait staff culture’ was very different overseas (stock image)
‘The waitress hit me with a [strange look], she took mine and my girlfriend’s orders down and walked away.’
The pair continued on with their meal, but whenValentin asked for the check, his girlfriend told him he was being ‘incredibly rude.’
Confused as to what he did wrong, Valentin remembered asking her, ‘What do you mean? We’re ready for the bill.’
That’s when his girlfriend revealed his problem: he hadn’t said please or thank you to the waiter.
‘It was in that moment I realized the wait staff culture is completely messed up in the US,’ he continued.
‘You could be the kindest, most respectful person, but in the US it’s almost never commonplace to throw in please or thank you where it should be.
‘It’s almost as if we’ve been trained like we’re ordering fromrobots.’
Valentin insisted that if it was ‘any other scenario’ he would have said please and thank you, adding, ‘I do it at the grocery store, I do it at the bakery, but for some reason that instinct with wait staff just wasn’t there for me.’
Russell Valentin, 31, originally from Chicago, said he was slammed by his girlfriend for not saying please or thank you to their waiter while out to dinner (stock image)
‘Thankfully I’ve learned the error of my ways and I always say it now,’ he concluded.
‘Moral of the story is, if you’re an American thinking of coming to the UK, don’t forget to pack your please and thank yous.’
While speaking about it further with Newsweek,Valentin explained that please and thank you is often ‘assumed’ in the States when you’re speaking to a waiter.
‘Culture in the UK is to verbally say please and thank you out loud, every time, whereas in a lot of the US that is not the standard,’ he said.
‘[I don’t think] that this is due to a lack of manners in Americans. [It’s] just different cultural manners are in place.’
He added that he’s found saying please in certain situations in America can actually come off as ‘passive-aggressiveand a more informal form of request is seen as being more polite.’
‘It’s important to adjust to where you are, and treat everyone with respect, especially if they are serving you,’ he stated.
