Gen Z: Yesterday was the best day ever.
Boomer: Don’t tell me… Taylor Swift’s released another album?
That was two weeks ago…
OK, you got one of those Laboobie dolls?
Gurl, stop. I actually spent the day queuing for ten hours. It was uh-mazing.
Ten hours? What for? The last helicopter out of Saigon?
IDK what you’re on about. I was queuing for Korean cosmetics brand Skin Cupid’s first UK store – from 6am.
Six in the morning for face cream? In my day the only thing that warranted queuing at dawn was a royal wedding.
Bestie, even BBC News says ‘waiting in a 12-hour queue is the new cool thing to do’.
I must be the coolest person around given how long I spend at the Waitrose checkout.
Hurry up and wait: Gen Zers at London’s latest Space NK
Be serious. According to one Gen Zer, it’s not about what you’re queuing for. Waiting is ‘an activity in itself’.
An activity? We Boomers consider queuing a necessary evil, not a hobby.
‘There’s a real sense of camaraderie,’ a 26-year-old told the BBC. ‘I get to meet new people and have a really nice time.’
Ah yes, the famous camaraderie of an endless queue in 30C heat at Malaga Airport Arrivals.
‘You get to make and meet friends,’ another added, explaining she’s made a GC with fellow queuers she met at other events.
I know this one! GC’s that Gemma Collins woman off the Essex show!
GC = group chat, duh.
Anyway, I’m more aligned with the viral X post shared by VeryBritishProblems.
Please don’t say you’ve been sharing more memes about the price of those chocolate frogs.
Freddos! And no, this one says: ‘Any bonding in the queue should stem from shared disgruntlement at those who dare jump in, expressed through tuts and eye rolls alone.’
Enforced silence and mild rage. Sounds lit!
‘Queuing is a serious business,’ it rightly concludes, ‘demanding professionalism and sensible conduct – not frivolity.’
But you need to make queue buddies to star in your #QueueToks.
My what now?
Ya know… TikToks of your queuing experience?
My #QueueTok would be me slowly losing the will to live in the Post Office while the old lady at the front tries to pay for her gas bill with stamps.
Be serious. There are 34 million views with the #queue on TikTok. I watched one girl vlog an entire day in a thousand-strong queue for the opening of the new Space NK in London.
‘Spend ten hours watching me stand about and heighten my risk of developing varicose veins.’ Sounds like a sure-fire hit.
One expat TikToker, @ChrisInMadrid, even confessed an ‘irrepressible need as a Brit’ to join any queue, even if he doesn’t know what it’s for.
That’s not British spirit, it’s a cry for help! True British spirit was queuing to see the Queen lying in state.
Line of duty: the queue to see the Queen lying in state
Please tell me you didn’t bother with that craziness.
If she can serve her country for 70 years, I could stand in a queue for 24 hours.
OK royalist diva! Probs took so long because of all those queue-jumping Gen Xers like Holly Willoughby.
I’m not sure you should be insulting anyone’s queue conduct given the disgraceful etiquette of Gen Zers in my local pub.
What ‘disgraceful’ etiquette? I always queue single file.
That’s the issue! The correct pub etiquette is elbows in, use the whole width of the bar and give those before you a polite nod to indicate they’re first.
*Shudders* I do not want to wiggle my way through a crowd of rowdy drinkers.
It’s your local pub, not a bloody Sex Pistols gig. Besides, even The Wall Street Journal calls your queuing obsession a ‘mortal threat’ to Britain’s pub culture.
Some of us like to order a lime and soda without starting a mosh pit, Boomer.
Well, the landlords can’t stand it! One in Glasgow has added a sign reading, ‘Stop f**king queuing. Put your elbows on the bar.’
Literally ew. My local artisanal craft beer pub would never be so rude to customers.
Another in Exeter has: ‘This is not a Post Office, there’s no need to queue like one,’ taped to the bar.
Moan all you want. I’m still a certified #queue-ty.
I suppose that’s just another line of the times.
