Nora Ephron got there first, of course, with her essay I Feel Bad About My Neck. Now I’m there too, along with most of my 50-plusser friends.
I’ll put on something I used to wear without a second thought – a crew-neck top, a boat-neck T-shirt, one of those blouses with a slim stand-up collar – and immediately realise the days of the fully exposed neck are over.
Dresses with lower necklines and more skin on show, open-collared shirts, they’re all fine. It’s when your bare throat rises above the neckline of a covered top and becomes the focus that the problem starts.
Anyway, if you don’t like your neck, this is your season. For reasons that are nothing to do with neck disguising, and all to do with what’s hitting the fashion mark, the camouflaged neck is having a moment.
It’s the season for polo necks, turtle necks, funnel necks and scarf-tie blouses, of course, but what’s newly of interest to us is the sudden upswing in popularity of the humble scarf: what could be easier?
Not much is the answer, but before you all rush to your top drawer and pull out an extra-long, gauzy print number, there is a world of difference between this and a fashion upgrade scarf for Autumn 2025.
Slipping a floaty print scarf under the lapels of a jacket, or wrapping it around the neck of a blouse is something only mums of grown-up children do and will add years to any outfit as fast as a shampoo and set. Leave those where they are.
Model Bella Hadid pairs a black scarf and trench
Fashion designer Pearl Lowe’s neck-tie and suit
The new scarf in town is a square – bandanna size or bigger – cotton, silk (or viscose), wool or cashmere.
It’s worn Boy-Scout style (knotted once in front) in the neck of a shirt, loosely tied above a round neck, or folded on the diagonal, knotted and tucked in the neckline of acrew-neck sweater, a cardigan, or an open-shirt collar.
It’s small, it’s feminine and it adds a flourish of old-school chic… that just happens to be where we need it most.
There are many benefits besides coverage: a flash of colour (again, just where you need it), a lick of print that you wouldn’t think of wearing on a bigger scale.
The right scarf can shift the mood of an outfit from minimal to Copenhagen quirky. (We all want to look a bit Danish now in the way we used to want to look a soupcon Parisian.)
Mint Velvet does a triangle cotton-blend knitted scarf in red (£25) or burgundy
A red wool scarf – or foulard as these wool squares are called – worn with double denim or sitting on the crew neck of a plain grey sweater
is a trick that stylists and the fashion crowd are enthusiastically embracing.
Theirs is by & Daughter (£185, and-daughter.com) – pricey because it’s cashmere – but Mint Velvet does a triangle cotton-blend knitted scarf in red (£25, mintvelvet.com) or burgundy. Less hot in central heating, too.
Zara’s silky ecru and black, polka-dot bandanna with a red trim (£15.99, zara.com) looks like something Coco Chanel would have thrown on with a cream jacket or cardigan.
Marks & Spencer’s cotton animal-print neckerchief (£13, marksandspencer.com) looks great with neutrals, and the ivory in the print makes it a good buffer next to the face if you want to wear black.
There are slightly bigger scarves to wear cowboy-style with the deep V in front (you need a long neck or you’ll look swamped).
Zara’s brown polka-dot print version (£17.99) is spot on for wearing with a tank top and tailoring.
With this look the secret is to keep it clean and graphic and a little bit unexpected. A red-and-white stripe might be too much like an air hostess uniform.
Otherwise, aside from the obvious neck-concealing funnel necks and turtle necks, this season, fur and fur collars are back in a big way on everything from sweaters to trench coats.
While you don’t want to smother your neck in fake mink, the right (expensive-looking) fluffy texture close to your face will soften and camouflage amazingly effectively.
I like H&M’s cream twill jacket with a removable fluffy collar (£39.99, hm.com).
Zara also has a good-looking, short, ecru trench coat with a detachable fur collar (£69.99, zara.com) and a glossy brown faux-fur-collared grey cardigan (£45.99, zara.com).
Any of the above will show your neck in a good light and flatter your face.
At the Prada and Miu Miu Autumn/Winter catwalk shows there were wall-to-wall fur stoles and neckpieces, so that’s another option: if you’ve got a fake fur stole in the back of your wardrobe, dust it off in a month and start wearing it where it matters.
